Is Your Relationship With Food Healthy? Warning Signs and How to Improve

You count calories meticulously. You avoid social events for fear of food. You feel guilty for eating a treat. You think about food all day long.

When does caring about nutrition cross the line into something harmful?

This article is not meant to diagnose eating disorders. It’s to help you reflect on your relationship with food and identify when it might be time to seek help.

The Food Relationship Spectrum

Healthy relationship ←------------------→ Eating disorder

        ↑               ↑               ↑
    "Intuitive       "Gray zone"     Needs
     eating"        (orthorexia,     professional
                    obsession)       treatment

Most people in fitness are in the gray zone - they don’t have a clinical disorder, but they don’t have a completely healthy relationship either.

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

✅ Eats when hungry, stops when satisfied
✅ Can eat "off plan" without extreme guilt
✅ Doesn't think about food obsessively
✅ Can socialize normally with food present
✅ Doesn't categorize foods as "good" or "bad"
✅ Exercise is not punishment for eating
✅ Body and weight don't define your worth as a person
✅ Flexibility is possible

Warning Signs

Category 1: Obsessive Thoughts

⚠️ Thinks about food/calories most of the day
⚠️ Can't concentrate on other things
⚠️ Dreams about food
⚠️ Plans meals days/weeks in advance obsessively
⚠️ Mentally counts calories of everything, all the time
⚠️ Analyzes menus before going to restaurants

Reflection: How much of your mental day is occupied by thoughts about food?

Category 2: Restrictive Behaviors

⚠️ Growing list of "forbidden" foods
⚠️ Avoids entire food groups without medical necessity
⚠️ Intense fear of certain foods
⚠️ Won't eat anything without nutritional information
⚠️ Specific rituals for eating (cutting into tiny pieces, etc.)
⚠️ Regularly skipping meals as "control"

Reflection: Is your list of restrictions growing or shrinking over time?

Category 3: Compensatory Behaviors

⚠️ Excessive exercise after eating "too much"
⚠️ Fasting after an episode of overeating
⚠️ Feeling like you NEED to "burn off" what you ate
⚠️ Using laxatives/diuretics
⚠️ Inducing vomiting
⚠️ Eating very little the next day to "compensate"

Important: Compensatory behaviors are serious and require professional attention.

⚠️ Avoids social events because of food
⚠️ Can't eat at restaurants
⚠️ Brings own food everywhere
⚠️ Gets anxious in situations involving food
⚠️ Relationships affected by eating behavior
⚠️ Isolation due to diet

Reflection: Is your diet improving or worsening your social life?

Category 5: Body/Weight Relationship

⚠️ Weighs yourself multiple times a day
⚠️ Mood depends on the number on the scale
⚠️ Checks body in the mirror obsessively
⚠️ Can't see progress (always "fat" or "too skinny")
⚠️ Frequently pinches/measures body fat
⚠️ Self-esteem entirely tied to body

Reflection: If the scale goes up 1 lb, how do you react?

Category 6: Restriction-Binge Cycles

⚠️ Periods of extreme control followed by loss of control
⚠️ Episodes of eating a lot in a short time (binge)
⚠️ Eating in secret
⚠️ Eating past the point of physical discomfort
⚠️ Intense shame/guilt after eating
⚠️ Feeling like you "can't stop"

Note: Restriction-binge cycles are very common and frequently ignored.

Orthorexia: When “Healthy” Becomes Illness

Orthorexia is not an official diagnosis, but it’s a recognized pattern.

Informal definition:
Obsession with "healthy" or "clean" eating
to the point of harming mental health and quality of life.

Signs of Orthorexia

⚠️ Intense distress when eating something "unhealthy"
⚠️ Spending hours researching/planning food
⚠️ Moral judgment of self and others based on food
⚠️ Identity entirely tied to "eating clean"
⚠️ Progressively eliminating food groups
⚠️ Spending lots of money on "special" foods
⚠️ Deterioration of relationships because of diet
⚠️ Anxiety in situations where you can't control food

The Paradox

Person with orthorexia:
- Believes they're being healthy
- Is actually harming mental health
- May have nutritional deficiencies from restrictions
- Quality of life decreases
- Can't see the problem

When Tracking Becomes Obsession

Calorie/macro tracking can be a useful tool or a trigger for problems.

Healthy vs Obsessive Tracking

Healthy tracking:
✅ Uses as a temporary learning tool
✅ Can stop without anxiety
✅ Numbers are informative, not mandatory
✅ Flexibility on special occasions
✅ Doesn't ruin the day if you go over

Obsessive tracking:
❌ Can't eat without logging
❌ Extreme anxiety if you don't know exact calories
❌ Avoids food without nutritional information
❌ Numbers determine what you can/can't eat
❌ Day "ruined" if you exceed

When to Stop Tracking

Consider pausing if:
- It's causing more stress than helping
- You think about numbers all day
- You avoid situations because you can't track
- You already intuitively know what you need
- You're in a restriction-binge cycle

Diets and Mental Health

The Restrictive Cycle

Restrictive diet
↓
Initial weight loss (gratification)
↓
Hunger/deprivation increases
↓
Obsession with food increases
↓
Eventual loss of control
↓
Guilt/shame
↓
MORE restrictive diet to "compensate"
↓
(Cycle intensifies)

The more restrictive the diet, the greater the chance of binging.

The Problem with “All or Nothing” Mentality

"If it's not perfect, it's not worth it"
"Already ate a treat, day lost"
"I'll start again Monday"
"Either 100% or 0%"

This mentality:
- Creates restriction-binge cycles
- Prevents sustainable progress
- Harms relationship with food
- Doesn't exist in real life

How to Improve Your Relationship with Food

1. Allow All Foods

"Forbidden food" = Obsessively desired food

When you CAN eat something:
- The urgency decreases
- The emotional power decreases
- You eat a normal amount

When you CAN'T eat something:
- The desire increases
- When you finally eat it, you overdo it
- Guilt perpetuates the cycle

Exercise: What food do you consider “forbidden”? What if you could eat it whenever you wanted?

2. Practice Flexibility

Intentionally:
- Eat at restaurants without checking calories
- Accept food that's offered to you
- Have a day without tracking
- Eat an "off-diet" food without compensating

Observe:
- What do you feel?
- What actually happens? (vs what you feared)
- Were you able to do it?

3. Disconnect Personal Worth from Food

Eating a treat doesn't make you "bad"
Eating salad doesn't make you "good"
Food is fuel and pleasure, not morality.

Replace:
"I was good today, ate right"
→ "I made choices that serve me today"

"I was bad, ate junk"
→ "I ate something that gave me pleasure, that's ok"

4. Reconnect with Hunger/Satiety

Questions before eating:
- Am I physically hungry or emotionally hungry?
- What's my hunger level (1-10)?
- What does my body want?

Questions during:
- Am I still hungry?
- Am I satisfied?
- Am I eating on autopilot?

Many people have lost connection with body signals
after years of dieting.

5. “Gentle Nutrition” Approach

Instead of rigid rules:
- "Does this choice make me feel good?"
- "Am I nourishing my body?"
- "Does this bring me closer to how I want to feel?"

Flexibility WITH awareness.
It's not "eat whatever you want"
nor "follow rigid rules."

6. Diversify Your Identity

If your identity is only "person who diets":
- Any slip is an identity crisis
- Without the diet, who are you?
- Life revolves around food

Cultivate other identities:
- Professional, friend, partner
- Hobbies, interests
- Values beyond appearance

When to Seek Professional Help

Seek a professional if:

URGENT (seek help now):
❌ Purging behaviors (vomiting, laxatives)
❌ Severe restriction (not eating for days, very low calories)
❌ Suicidal thoughts related to body/food
❌ Severe impact on physical health (fainting, arrhythmia)

IMPORTANT (strongly consider):
⚠️ Frequent binge cycles
⚠️ Significant impact on social life/work
⚠️ Obsession that doesn't improve
⚠️ History of eating disorder
⚠️ You notice something is wrong but can't change

Which Professional to Seek

Psychologist/Psychiatrist:
- Eating disorder specialist ideal
- CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) very effective
- May need medication in some cases

Registered Dietitian:
- Specialist in eating behavior
- Not just "prescribing a diet"
- Works together with psychologist

What to Expect

Treatment may include:
- Gradual exposure to "forbidden" foods
- Work on beliefs about body/food
- Reconnection with hunger/satiety signals
- Building flexibility
- Treatment of underlying issues

It's not:
- Receiving another diet
- Being judged
- Having to give up fitness

The Ultimate Goal

A healthy relationship with food means:
- Food as part of life, not the center
- Choices guided by health AND pleasure
- Flexibility without guilt
- Body at peace, not at war
- Fitness that adds to life, not subtracts

You can take care of your health and body composition WITHOUT sacrificing mental health.

Final Summary:

Warning Sign	Severity	Action
Obsessive thoughts	⚠️	Reflection + possible help
Growing restriction	⚠️	Work on flexibility
Compensatory behaviors	🚨	Seek professional help
Social impact	⚠️	Reevaluate priorities
Binge/restriction cycles	🚨	Seek professional help
Obsessive tracking	⚠️	Pause and reevaluate

Don’t ignore warning signs. Fitness should improve your life, not diminish it. If your pursuit of health is causing suffering, something needs to change.

Taking care of your body and taking care of your mind are not opposites. The best results come when both go together.

Resources:

If you’re in crisis, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988
National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) Helpline: 1-800-931-2237
NEDA Crisis Text Line: Text “NEDA” to 741741
Find a treatment provider: nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline

References:

Tribole E, Resch E. “Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach.” St. Martin’s Essentials, 2020.
Harrison C. “Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating.” Little, Brown Spark, 2019.
Fairburn CG. “Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Eating Disorders.” Guilford Press, 2008.